Midnight Hotel, Autograph Collection

“Like the Vicar's Egg--good in parts.”

This is not an easy hotel to find....especially when roadworks create a one way street to access, so if you come from the wrong direction it's almost impossible to reach check in....if you can find it. The problem? Check in is DOWNSTAIRS, below street level. Only two people at the check in desk (so… more

This is not an easy hotel to find....especially when roadworks create a one way street to access, so if you come from the wrong direction it's almost impossible to reach check in....if you can find it. The problem? Check in is DOWNSTAIRS, below street level. Only two people at the check in desk (so if you're in a hurry, as I was, forget it). Once the mass of people ahead of me, most of whom were oblivious to the fact that there trivial requests were holding up a line of others, check in wasn't too bad (although the hotel, claiming to be 5 star, could have had an elite check in area which would have helped reduce my blood pressure as the check in delay ensured I would be late for an important appointment). The parking area below was relatively easy to access, although the hotel could provide a little...no, a lot, of information about where it was (Mort Street) and how to access (simply drive up to the boom gate and announce that you are a guest, a card pops up, you take a ticket and the gate opens and your ticket is validated when you finally find check in. The rooms are reasonably sized, ,but once again the frustration of finding the HUGE TV directly opposite the bed, rather than opposite a lounge, was marginally frustrating. When did hotel designers decide all guest wanted to lie in bed to watch the news? The room had a chaise lounge at an oblique angle to the TV which simply compounded my frustration. After returning from a reception where, because of the delays at reception cost me dinner I discovered full room service ended at 9 pm, but offered four unimpressive choices for people like me who don't eat, as Gough Whitlam once so eloquently described it, as "journeymen's hours". The best I could find was a ham and cheese toasted sandwich, which I thought could be good. Fifteen minutes later a person arrived at the door and handed me a paper bag at the bottom of which was a cardboard box, which, when opened, revealed two large, very, very greasy pieces of bread within which lay buried two pieces of sliced ham and some slimy, wet, smelly melted cheese. Needless to say, this $22 monstrosity, went straight into the garbage bin. Not only was it inedible nut I spent most of the night wondering whether the few bites I had taken might result in my demise! The bed was quite comfortable, although loaded with a very heavy doona. Fortunately the room included a cotton blanket with which I was able to replace the heavy doona. The bathroom was a good size but the shower was a raindump. Some people like this but I prefer a hand held hose. Rather than soap, etc, pressure pumps were provided for handwash, shampoo, etc. Depends on what you like. In the morning I discovered I'd forgotten my razor. Nothing there to help. A 5 star property??? After checking out I returned to the car park where I discovered my car was surrounded on 3 sides by massive SRV's. It only took 15 minutes to finally back out. Thank God for power steering.! (what I'm saying is, of course, they need larger parking spaces. It wasn't my worst experience but I can't say it was my best.

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